One of the things I pride myself on in this Witness Wednesdays series is the relentless fact-checking that I do before publication. Each article is fact checked for several months, if not more, before it is finally considered ready for publication. Therefore it is my extreme displeasure to report that there was, for the very first time, a slight factual inaccuracy in last week’s article: technically, Tolkien does not use apostrophes in his names. He actually uses dashes and accents.
In my defense, accents are sort of like apostrophes. If you didn’t know what an accent was, for example, you might say, “hey look, Tolkien puts apostrophes on top of his words for some reason” or “why do these French people put backwards apostrophes on top of their words” and so on. Of course, you shouldn’t say that last one because it’s vaguely racist, because it implies that all French people put backwards apostrophes on things, whereas really, when you get to know them, a lot of French people are actually very capable of using apostrophes correctly. I am not racist, of course, even though I said it, because it was hypothetical, and besides, some of my best friends are French.
Anyway, racism and factual errors aside, tune in next week for another error-free Witness Wednedsay where I will continue the construction of the Lister Panel with copious, excruciatingly detailed commentary for your extreme reading pleasure!